Empathy in Action: an interview with Dedoyin Ajayi

Dedoyin Ajayi is Nigeria’s No. 1 mental health influencer. She’s a licensed psychotherapist with about a decade of experience. She’s also the co-founder of MyTherapist.ng, a platform that offers quality mental healthcare services at incredibly affordable prices (as low as 5k!)—-and as easily as ordering food.

Dedoyin is passionate about breaking the stigma surrounding mental health in Nigeria and making quality mental health care accessible to everyone. Her innovative approaches and dedication to mental health advocacy have made significant impacts, empowering thousands of people to take control of their mental well-being.

Here, we explore her journey into the mental health space and her work at MyTherapist.ng. Enjoy!

Please introduce yourself. (Include your work, hobbies, an interesting fact about you, and what you do at MyTherapist.ng)

I’m Adedoyin Oluwakemi Ajayi, and I’m known as Dedoyin Ajayi by all and sundry. I’m a licensed psychotherapist with a speciality in emotional health. I'm a graduate of Counselling Psychology from Liverpool John Moores University. My hobbies include reading books and listening to music.

An interesting fact about me is I used to be a radio presenter at a very, very interesting time in my life. If I weren't a psychotherapist, my second love would be media and broadcasting—specifically radio presenting.

I’m the co-founder and Chief Operations Officer at MyTherapist.ng. I manage operations and I am in charge of ensuring that we have qualified hands in the therapy team.

How did you become interested in psychology and mental health? What inspired you to start a career in mental health?

As a young girl of eight or nine, I had these imaginations of people coming to my office crying, and I’d hand them tissues, say, “There, there, it’s all right,” and they’d leave in a better state. I didn’t know where that picture came from, but it was lodged in my subconscious.

As I grew older, life happened, and I realized how much I needed mental support, but none was available for me. I saw a gap in the availability of mental health care and felt quite bereft, like I had to do something about it. Somehow, that sparked my interest, but there was nothing to work with, so I did Agriculture in my first degree. But all through school, I was in tune with peoples’ emotions; I was some sort of unqualified part-time therapist.

One day, a friend said, "We all know what you'll be after school; you’re going to be a therapist." And something went off in my head, like, that’s something I’ll excel at. Right then, as an undergraduate in my final year, I began to take online courses in professional counselling, emotional intelligence, and introductory psychology courses. Again, there wasn't much to work with in terms of mentoring, so I pretty much pulled myself by my bootstraps. Eventually, I was able to get into school properly.

To summarise, my love for being there for people in every sense of the word is a huge inspiration and motivation. But the main propeller was the time in my life when I went through certain events, knowing that having a mental health provider would make all the difference. I didn’t have that, but I knew I wanted to do something about that so that another girl, boy, man, or woman out there would never have to wonder about who to talk to whenever they need mental health care. And here we are.

What does a typical day in your life look like?

My days are varied; no two days are the same. But my non-negotiable constants are sessions every day (except on days when I clear my calendar and take a break) and spending time with my kids. I prioritise spending time with them; they make my life so uncomplicated. Social media is also a usual part of my day. I spend at least 20 minutes online every day winding down and engaging my Twitter community.

In your experience, what are the biggest challenges against mental health awareness and support in Nigeria?

The first one is stigmatisation. It's either people are living in stark denial of mental illnesses or they believe it's overrated. Another challenge is low or poor governmental policies. Yes, we've seen a few positive changes in that area, but it's a far cry from what’s actually needed, and the onus to create mental health awareness has been left to individuals and private bodies.

What do you think sets MyTherapist.ng apart from other online mental health platforms?

• Our strict vetting process for therapists: We have a set of stringent measures put in place to weed out less-than-qualified therapists and select only the best hands because we’re trying to tackle mediocre approaches to mental health care. Matter of fact: at the moment, we have a 20% acceptance rate.

• We’re proactive. We recognize that we have a broad category of users, and we always aim to meet them exactly where they are.

• On MyTherapist.ng, you can book a therapy session in less than 20 minutes. We’re offering therapy at the push of a button.

• We’ve created an accountable system that puts everybody on their toes. We run a transparent system where you can see your therapist's response rates in real-time. If a therapist responds fast, the chances of wanting to work with them are higher, so everybody's motivated and proactive.

In the early days of MyTherapist.ng, what challenges did you face? How did you handle them?

In the early days, our challenges were multifaceted, but they weren't things we didn’t envisage. For example, we had to bootstrap and pay for a lot of things out of pocket. Another one was trying to onboard our first set of therapists. Now, we have people applying of their own volition, but back then, I remember having to speak to the first set of therapists because I knew them and they were qualified. I had to sell the idea to them to be pioneering therapists on a platform that had no track records. We've definitely come a long way.

How do you measure the success and impact of MyTherapist.ng's services?

For me, the success of the platform and the impact are measured by what people are saying and the value people are getting from the product. At the moment, we have more than 4000 users registered on the app, and the feedback has been the highlight for us. People are recommending MyTherapist.ng to others of their own volition, and it has been wonderful.

A common notion about successful women is that one cannot have it all—a great career, a loving family, and a thriving social life; something has to give. What do you think?

I think it's a fallacy. As much as everyone is an extension of their beliefs, and it's possible for you to have yours magnified by examples of people who have not had it all, there are people like me with a track record of having it all. I’m surrounded by people who have it all.

It all boils down to your self-awareness and desire to have it all. Because why not? Why should you lose one at the expense of another? I have a supportive partner. I have an astute belief in myself. And I believe I deserve to have the best circle ever. So, I'm not going to shortchange myself in any way. The charm is in the balance.

How do you secure funding for MyTherapist.ng?

For now, MyTherapist.ng is running itself on its own profits, so at the moment, it's safe to say we’re self-funded.

How do you manage your team’s workload and ensure they maintain high morale and don’t experience burnout?

At MyTherapist.ng, our primary ethic is an empathy-led team. I’m the company's in-house therapist, so part of my job description is to be there for my team, making sure their mental health is in safe hands. We don’t want to be guilty of what we’re trying to tackle. So, we run a system where employees can come and talk about things, and we put lots of creative activities in place to unwind.

How do you handle situations where a team member is not meeting performance expectations?

When a team member isn’t meeting performance expectations, the first thing we do is a one-to-one assessment. A one-to-one assessment is an unofficial check-in, handled by either the team lead or myself, depending on the severity of the nonperformance.

When we’ve ascertained the cause of the performance drop, we troubleshoot. If attempts to troubleshoot aren’t effective, we place them on a probationary period. The probationary period is to work with them in handling whatever's preventing work from being done effectively, and working with them to handle things. If all efforts to help prove abortive, we revert to the last resort, which is to let them go.

What are the challenges of managing a completely remote team, and how do you handle them?

The major challenge is not seeing your team members, which can be a morale killer, especially if it goes on for too long. Imagine working with all these people you vibe with so well, but you don't see them. Not cool. But we manage that by organising physical hangouts from time to time. Then there's the network issue during syncs— "Oh, my network is not working," "Can you hear me?" "Can you see my screen?" It can be a bit of a snag.

What strategies do you use to recognize and reward the achievements of your team members?

Depending on the performance metric established by the team lead, we celebrate sterling performance on a monthly basis. We have a team spotlight where we acknowledge and celebrate the most efficient team member; we give monetary incentives as well. We also do lots of words of affirmation; we let them know they’re appreciated.

What are some of your strategies for maintaining a solid work-life balance?

Number one is having personal boundaries. I used to struggle with that at one point. I didn’t respect my rest time, and it led to horrible burnout. So, for me, I don’t bring my work phone into my living room, even if it's ringing or buzzing. I leave it in the study. That helps to prime my brain to leave work at work, even if work is in my study. I also make sure to respect my signs of burnout. Once I sense burnout on the way, I take myself off the work scene for a while.

So, the work-life balance strategies I recommend:

• Keep your boundaries intact. It might be hard at first, but it gets easier with time.

• Don’t mix work with pleasure, and don’t mix pleasure with work. Respect your body and the signs it's giving you. Once you realize your body is telling you it's exhausted, take a break regardless of how guilty resting makes you feel.

• Don't say every day is a workday; have specific work days, and on the days you're not supposed to be working, don't work. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm leaving that caveat for those of you who are workaholics. If you want to maintain a work-life balance, respect your work schedule.

Is there anyone you look up to in the mental health space?

Hauwa Ojeifo. She's the executive director of She Writes Woman. I admire how vocal she is about her mental health journey. I've been following her for the longest time—back from when everybody used to be hush-hush about their mental health struggles. Hauwa was a loud mental health activist, and she created a wholesome space for Nigerian women. She’s also vocal about her stance against sexual violence. She’s a great inspiration. I’m very proud of what she's doing.

What future projects or initiatives for MyTherapist.ng are you excited about?

I'm excited about the introduction of the physical session feature. This, for me, is a big deal. We started off as a platform that only provides virtual therapy sessions, and now, we’re taking things a step forward and making physical sessions available. This is a big deal because the demand for it has been ENORMOUS, and the fact that we’re finally going to meet that demand is something I'm really excited about.

How can organisations like Bluxies Incorporated collaborate with MyTherapist.ng to promote mental health awareness and support?

Organisations like Bluxies Incorporated can collaborate with MyTherapist.ng to promote mental health awareness and support by offering discounted sessions to their community. Another way is to have mental health awareness conversations aimed at informing and empowering these young women about aspects of mental health that are peculiar to women.

By the way, Bluxies Incorporated is doing a remarkable job. Empowering women is one thing I am very particular about, and big-ups to the team for picking up this initiative.

Thanks for reading! We’re sure you enjoyed reading this as much as we enjoyed chatting with Dedoyin. You can connect with her on social media.

What are your thoughts on this interview? Tell us in the comment box. Also, download the MyTherapist.ng app and connect with a therapist today! 😊